Bittersweet Ray

Once upon a time there was a beautiful flower, hidden deep inside of a giant thorned labyrinth. She so longed to feel the sunlight but her home was hidden far from any ray, save one. Set directly to her roots it was her life force through the disparate days. Many times she wondered, 'if I was to pray, would I receive a friend?'
And with that single gleaming flicker of hope she had within, she would close her petals tight and pray as loudly as she could...

"Please, please send just one more ray of light... Please! I am so alone, and it is all I need."

Now the truly peculiar thing about this little flower, surrounded by darkness with but one gleaming hint of what existed outside of this labyrinth, her home.. was she always seemed to find something to grasp on to. when there was seemingly nothing left but darkness around, she found more. But still her heart would break every night with the shimmer of moonlight on her toes... knowing she was still the only thing to be heard or seen in her world. She remained destitute.

There were many nights and many days that had passed her by, and still she remained just as she were and could not see any hope in the distance, until the darkest morning she had yet to see.

She awoke with the early frost, but did not open her petals. She didn't want to find herself alone still. She was so afraid of finding nothing again, that she couldn't bear to move. All that she was sure of now was she had lost her heart somewhere deep inside.
There she lay, in her corner for days, squeezing herself so very tightly not wanting to know if she had been forgotten again... and with each moment passing her by she prayed still, but for what, and to whom, she was no longer sure. She was utterly lost.

An incomplete tale written for a friend.

About journeys, and where you lead..

I write, I keep writing, I stop, I post... a continuous flow of heaven only knows.

Constants are not my prize
I have never known where I would be in life
others find that parallel lines
will lead them from one place to the next
but that's never something I was able to expect
I needed security more than I will admit
but for some reason it eluded me
Like a game someone far away was playing with me
with my life and my sanity and that of those who surrounded me
It's one of the main reasons they love to leave

I heard once somewhere I cannot recall
that some people enter your life
destined to leave without needing goodbyes
the enter with the sole goal of uprooting
and when what they see is not wnat they were expecting
they turn and walk and just keep on walking

I used to think that I was destined to meet
nothing but types like this
But seeing as how everyone around me
loves to leave
maybe it's been me doing the leaving
from the beginning
but unwilling to see what I was doing

I don't know where I'm going,
From today to tomorrow for me is a mystery
Do I like it this way, I can't say that I do
but I also can't say that any other way would be
any easier so I'll stay.
I'll see if it works some how, some day

Until then I just hope I make it to the finish line
before it becomes harder to finish than resign.

Perseverance

Perseverance
The only word to describe the day
One word, the curb of a thousand verbs
Simply put,

I ran far away and ended up in the same place.

No hat tricks involved,

no circles nor tracks...

I just found myself trying to get away

another way

But unable to man-up or face… what came.

It was not me who outlasted the pain

In fact, it was me that befell it.

I staggered into its arms,

coddled its teet,

Cried out its name,

As the weakness I know all too well overcame…

And they used to call me sane.

They used to call me by name

Crying out from their pain

To gain relief from their pathetic lives

Well look at me now, friends and loved ones…
Are you still running blind

All I feel I have left is to wallow or die

And this day, all this day

All I've wanted were these…

But instead, all that came was the persevering.

One more day, one more test

You will make it the best

At least until all the rest

Falls into place.....

And because of that one final thought

Here I stay.

At least till the persevering

fades away.